the pork-bolter
No 57, November 2003

Landowner’s blunt message to countryside lovers:

Get out of Worthing!

WORTHING people who don’t want to see their environment ruined by property developers can get out of town, says Titnore landowner Fitzroy Somerset. The Porkbolter has a copy of a videoed interview with the Holt Farm patriarch conducted by anti-hunt activists trying to stop fox cubs being killed on his land on Thursday September 18. Mr Somerset was quizzed persistently but politely as to why, as a self-professed countryside lover, he was all set to sell off a precious chunk of it for yet another sprawling suburban housing estate.

When it was put to him that "if you keep on developing, you end up with no land, don’t you?" his reply was a logic-defying "No, you don’t!" And asked whether he didn’t feel he owed it to the people of Worthing to protect the local environment, Mr Somerset replied: "I don’t owe the people of Worthing anything. Why should I?" The interviewer suggested that it might be because it was the people of Worthing’s environment that would be ruined by the bulldozers and tarmac-layers.

Replied Mr Somerset: "They don’t have to live there."

And when the interviewer asked if he was suggesting people should move out, the landowner added: "If they’re not happy with where they live, certainly they can move out."

What a jolly thoughtful and sensitive suggestion!

Whose meeting, Bob?

TWO Worthing borough councillors distinctly failed to impress the public at the Durrington meeting staged by Protect Our Woodland! on Saturday September 13. Lib Dem pair Bob Smytherman and Hazel Thorpe seemed unable or unwilling to give a straight and satisfactory answer to anything put to them. The whole process began with farce when Cllr Smytherman, executive member for planning and economic development, was asked why the council had not itself organised a public meeting on the issue. His answer was that the council had organised "this one" - in fact it had been called by POW! as a protest at the lack of a council-organised meeting!

Later in a letter to the Worthing Advertiser (September 17) Cllr Smytherman was on similarly devastating form. For instance, he came up with the reassuring fact that a massive four public meetings had been held in Durrington - over the last 20 years! And he managed to claim that the aim of the development brief was "not to destroy an area but to preserve it". Funny - we thought that was what the protesters were trying to do! He also took the Advertiser to task for including "quotes from one particular and one-sided newsletter". Sadly, the reticent councillor could not bring himself to actually mention the name of that dreaded and mysterious publication, which seems to have the same effect on politicians as a shaft of healthy sunlight on Count Dracula!

Scared of democracy?

WORTHING Borough Council’s website has been keenly promoting "Local Democracy Week" in October. They ask - or perhaps shriek: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN IN LOCAL DEMOCRACY WEEK???" Errr, what about the council actually listening to Worthing people for a change? Or is that too much to ask? Maybe the council could take up a helpfully democratic suggestion from Protect Our Woodland! The pressure group has called for a referendum to be held on the future of Titnore Woods and the nearby green fields and hedgerows earmarked for the massive West Durrington development. What a novel idea! Let the people decide! Then the council will have a clear mandate - either to allow the scheme or to refuse it permission all the way down the line, in the knowledge they have the backing of the public which they are apparently supposed to represent.

* Hopes of a democratic response from the Town Hall politicos have hardly been encouraged by the response to the recent death of Goring Tory councillor David Marchant. There is no sign of a by-election being staged and we understand the Tories and Lib Dems have agreed between them not to hold one, despite the neck and neck party balance in the council chamber. How come? Are both these useless parties too scared of facing the public?

We’re staying put!

The [DELETED by CLLR SMYTHERMAN]is a totally independent local newsletter, dedicated to encouraging Worthing people to hold their ground and stand up to the rich and powerful bullies who try to make their lives a misery. We have no plans to move to Milton Keynes. To get the next six issues through the post send a donation of at least £3 payable to [DELETED by CLLR SMYTHERMAN] at PO Box 4144, Worthing BN14 7NZ. You can go on the email list for free via (yes, we know but we’re bored of that joke now).

1,000 empty properties

"ALMOST 1,000 properties are standing empty in Worthing" reported The Argus on September 3. So why the need to build those 900 new homes on the countryside at Titnore Lane? We think it’s something to do with easy profits.

Raving lunacy exposed!

"IF you see people who you think may be preparing for a rave - call the police and report it immediately before it gets out of hand." That was the public spirited call from the ever-vigilant Worthing Advertiser on September 24. Responding instantly, our reporter rushed outdoors at 8.31am and spotted groups of young persons gathering together ominously on the streets of Worthing, all dressed in similar clothing and moving in a strange robotic manner towards some unknown destination. Needless to say, he called the police. But alas, in vain. At 3.34pm he spotted numerous straggles of youngsters, dazed and pale from hours of intense yet pointless activity, wandering shambolically back towards their homes, all life drained from them by what they had endured. The Advertiser was right! The shame of Worthing’s cursed youth was there for all to see!

Secret plot to steal our freedom

PEOPLE think we’re making it up when we say the Government is paving the way for a totalitarian police state where every movement of every person is constantly monitored by the authorities. So here’s a just few nuggets we spotted in the last few weeks to show you what we mean.

* "EVERY child in England will be given a unique identifying number attached to an electronic file of personal information about their lives, under plans announced yesterday" (The Guardian, September 9). And will they destroy the file when the kids reach 18? The pork they will!

* POLICE launched a ‘truancy round-up’ along the West Sussex coast in September, with six children stopped in Worthing - all of whom were accompanied by their parents at the time! (Worthing Advertiser, September 24). Meanwhile, the Government is proposing on-the-spot fines of £100 for parents whose children are caught out of school without the permission of the all-controlling authorities (BBC website, October 3).

* HOME Secretary David Blunkett is still pushing for compulsory ID cards for all, with "biometric" information such as eyescans or electronic finger prints. These elements will be introduced on to passports and driving licenses within the next 10-15 years anyway, says The Guardian (September 12). And the cabinet has secretly given the go-ahead for Britain’s first national computer database, featuring extensive computer files on each and every one of us (Guardian, September 30).

* RELEASED sex offenders are to be "tagged" with global satellite positioning technology, reported The Observer (September 21). "This will allow probation services and police to pinpoint the wearer anywhere in the UK to within three metres. The device is capable of providing a detailed diary at the end of every day of where the user has been. The electronic diary can be studied remotely by experts. The device has a wireless connection to a special mobile phone carried by the offender at all times." Meanwhile, mobile phone companies are citing "emergency powers" to put up new powerful masts without planning permission from local councils (West Sussex County Times, September 26). Hmmm...

* POLICE have "called for every person in Britain to have their DNA recorded on a database". (Daily Mirror, September 9).

Thugs control city

WORTHING people who travelled to London in September to protest against DSEi, Europe’s biggest arms fair, returned with reports of brutal police repression. Not only did the state’s hired thugs deploy the draconian Terrorism Act 2000 against peaceful protesters (which is what we warned it would be used for all along, so there!) but they also threw their weight around in an even nastier manner than usual. One Worthing teenager was dragged out of the crowd and wrongfully accused of spitting at the police - he thinks someone nearby with a water pistol might have scored a direct hit! He was then pushed to the ground and kicked repeatedly by a group of police, while other cops watched and did nothing to intervene. He has contacted solicitors and the pressure group Liberty with a view to taking the police to court over his treatment. And meanwhile, the police wonder why so many people these days seem to hate their guts...

* On the positive side, we couldn’t help cheering the following football result from the Ryman league: "Worthing 4, Met Police 1"!

Figure this out...

‘A BIG Thank You for voting CONSERVATIVE’ declares the main heading of an In Touch leaflet distributed by the local Tories in Gaisford ward. You what? After all, as we mentioned in our May issue, 71.39% of Worthing’s electorate didn’t vote at all in the last council elections. And a majority (55%) even of those who did vote in the Gaisford ward, didn’t vote for the winning Tory candidate. So they were only endorsed by 45% of the 28.6% who voted at all, meaning 12.9% or about one in eight residents, with the other seven out of eight wondering what the pork those Tory prats are on about!

Tunnel vision for Asda

COULD the workers behind wartime tunnels in Durrington have unwittingly "dug for victory" over supermarket giant Asda/WalMart 60 years later? That’s the startling question posed by an underground Porkbolter mole, who points out there are huge tunnels, big enough to drive two tanks down, under the surface in the Field Place area. The old Inland Revenue buildings in Barrington Road were a hospital built for war casualties and the whole area is believed to be criss-crossed with unrecorded tunnels. Any attempt to build on the playing fields at Worthing College could disrupt the fragile stability of the tunnel network, our expert reckons. And the knock-on implications could create a domino effect of subsidence across the area. We have heard that Asda/WalMart might now know about these tunnels and may just be wobbling about the massive liabilities that could be unleashed! Watch this space!

In the meantime, we would love to hear any more info about the Durrington tunnels from our knowledgeable readers!

B*ll***s to Bush!

GET OUT on the streets of London and show George W Bush what you think of him! That’s the message from a vast array of groups planning to make the American President’s state visit to Britain on November 19 to 21 as uncomfortable as possible. Book time off work now! Anyone who wants to join a Worthing contingent can contact for details.

Porkies launch Plan Bee

"A LORRY carrying 300kg of bacon careered into trees beside the A27 in Worthing after the driver was stung by a bee" (Argus, September 5)*. A bee? Or a clever miniature bee-format guided missile unleashed by our top secret Piggy Resistance to intercept and destroy all enemies of the Porcine Race? Ham sandwich distributors watch out - you are next!

*Nobody was hurt


FIRST we had the survey that showed Worthing was the most profitable town in the UK (for the bosses, not us lot - obviously!). Then we had the survey voting Worthing "Britain’s worst place to grow up in" (Argus, September 29). Any connection, possibly?
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"THE number of allegations proven against Sussex Police in the past year was well above the national average, according to new figures," reported The Argus on September 16. It seems that almost 22% of the allegations against the cops by the public were supported - and by a complaints system that notoriously fails to take criticism seriously! The national average is just 15%.
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MORE and more people in this country are seeing through our corrupt political system and the sham "democracy" that they try to fob us off with. That was the finding of a poll by thinktank Reform. The Daily Mirror reported on October 6 that almost half of voters - 47% - have no allegiance to any political party and 74% said "no party had new or attractive policies". Said a Reform spokesman: "The fastest growing party is the No party."
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NICE to see Worthing police doing their bit for the British economy. The Worthing Herald revealed (August 21) that they have splashed out on 17 new mountain bikes - imported from the USA. They were made by Smith and Wesson, so can we expect weapons of mass destruction to be cunningly concealed in the handlebars?
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VICTORY now seems possible in the battle to stop GM crops coming to Britain, with a series of important set-backs for the corporate conspirators and their friends in the US and UK governments. First there were the results of the ‘GM Nation’ consultation which showed (Independent, September 25) overwhelming public opposition, with 93% of respondents believing GM technology is driven by profit rather than public interest. Then there was the scientists’ report confirming the dangers to the environment from GM. And, meanwhile, protesters continue to trash the unwanted crops and target the firms involved - the latest campaign is against Bayer CropScience:
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FROM Bolivia to Chiapas, the indigenous peoples of Central and South America are in the front line of the global resistance to capitalism. But why? That's the issue at worthing eco-action’s meeting upstairs at The Downview, opp West Worthing station, on Tuesday November 4, 7.45pm.
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WORTHING Green Social has a new email address, namely
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THE G8 summit is being staged in the UK in 2005 and protests are already being planned! Go to
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JOE Strummer Remembrance Sunday is on November 9 at Concorde 2, Brighton, 2pm-midnight. Tickets £10/£8 in advance.
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WORTHING Against Racism is holding a music event at the 3T0 nightclub in Chapel Road on December 12. Contact
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SHARP and topical analysis of corporate media bias can be had on the excellent medialens site.
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A HALLOWE'EN anti-war protest is being held in Brighton on Friday October 31. Meet 5.30pm at the Old Steine.
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A WALK along the currently rejected A27 route at Arundel, calling for National Park protection, is to be staged on Sunday November 2. Meet 1pm outside the Norfolk Hotel, Arundel.

Microchip your babies!

RESPONSIBLE parents should microchip their babies at birth! That was the caring advice from the Minister for Total and Ruthless Control last week. He said: "It’s quite simple. If you don’t want your children to be eaten and raped into a mush by drug-peddling cannibal Iraqi football-thug rave terrorists, get them chipped by a vet. Better still, have them lobotomised as well to ensure they lead a full and happy life as an obedient and flexible labour unit in our marvellous wealth-creating democracy."

Printed and published by The Pork-Bolter, PO Box 4144, Worthing BN14 7NZ. No copyright. No tunnels under our PO Box!

and finally ...
Reclaim Your Town, Reclaim Your Life!

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