the pork-bolter
No 50, Yule 2002

Plod lose the plot!

We don’t go out of our way to search out instances of police behaving badly. But over the last few weeks example after example has been dropping into our lap and we feel we have a duty to bring them to the public’s attention, especially since such revelations, even those made in a court of law, do not always make it into your dependable local papers. As we show here, local cops are all so busy perjuring themselves in court, snooping around people’s private photos, crushing innocent motorists’ cars, raiding cafes in bullet-proof vests and attacking peace protesters with pepper spray that they clearly do not have the time to actually go out and solve any crimes!


THE case against a Titnore Woods protester was thrown out of Worthing Magistrates Court when police were caught out telling lies. In a sensational move on Monday November 11, the Crown Prosecution Service offered no further evidence against a local woman, Carol, facing a charge of assaulting a policeman. The incident in question happened at the end of the big demo against the proposed Titnore Lane housing and roads development attended by 350 adults and children on Sunday May 26. Police "evidence gatherer" PC Ashley Sayers, CS049, claimed he was knocked to the floor by a force from behind, causing his video camera to strike the ground. This fabricated version of events was supported whole-heartedly in the witness statements made by WPC DW070 Waters, who claimed that Carol lunged at PC Sayers’ back, hitting him with her full body weight. WPC Waters claimed that when down on the floor with her, Carol struggled and that the WPC was in fear of what Carol was going to do.

These officers’ lies were supported by statements from fellow officers PC CG217 Gee and PC CV080 Vickers. Fortunately for Carol and the administration of justice, what really happened was caught on video by a member of the public who was extremely concerned about the aggressive behaviour of PC Sayers throughout the peaceful family march. The defence video, which was not served prior to the trial because of fear that the police would alter their evidence, clearly showed the unlawful arrest of Carol’s son and the fact that she was in fact barged - assaulted - by PC Sayers, with his full body weight, which must be quite substantial. After the video was put to PC Sayers during his cross examination by counsel Pam Rose, the prosecution asked for a break in proceedings and, it would seem, fearing further officers committing perjury, offered no evidence.

Said Carol’s solicitor, Teresa Blades of Kelly’s in Brighton: "The concerns which arise from this case are that but for the video evidence taken by the member of the public, who did not know Carol prior to this incident, there was a high risk that Carol would have been convicted. The starting point for assaulting police is a custodial sentence. Sadly, even when police officers lie, our courts often believe them. Also of concern is the arrogance of PC Sayers. Although warned not to discuss the case with his fellow officers who were waiting to give evidence, he went straight to the witness room. If defence counsel had had her way, his mobile phone would have been taken off him. Thank you to everyone who witnessed this incident and came forward. Thankfully the police are not the only ones with evidence gatherers!"

Note: Not a word of this important and shocking case was mentioned in any of the mainstream local papers. Why not write and ask them why?


A TEENAGE art student had a shock when she went to collect photos of her project, which involved a collage including toy guns, from Boots in Brighton (Argus, November 15). Edwyna Dyer, 19, was first told to come back in half an hour because the machines had broken (this was a lie) and when she did return, she was interviewed by a policeman who suspected her of being a "terrorist". Despite explaining everything, she was questioned for two hours at the police station and her home was searched by firearms officers! She was eventually cautioned (for what exactly we don’t know!) and her homework was destroyed! Said a spokeswoman for Boots: "Our procedures were followed. If there is anything sensitive or of a distasteful nature in photographs we have a duty to seek advice from the police."


MORE than 30 riot cops raided the Bongchuffa cafe in Rowlands Road, Worthing on November 27. In an astonishing overkill, police rushed in equipped with bullet-proof vests, helmets and battering rams. It obviously didn’t occur to them to just walk in, like everyone else! Some 20 people inside the smoking accessories shop and cafe were made to put their hands on their heads or tables, searched and questioned and 12 were apparently arrested. The cops’ motives for the raid can be guessed at from the fact that they invited the mainstream press along to thrill at them in glorious action and from the statement from Inspector Allan Lowe, who told the Argus: "It is important for public confidence in Worthing that we do take action of this kind." In other words this, like the ongoing bullying of local environmental campaigners, was all about intimidation and being seen to be in control at all times. Fortunately though, Worthing people do not like to be pushed around. Wheelchair-using manager and cannabis campaigner Chris Baldwin defiantly re-opened the very next day and declared: "We are determined to stay open. Hundreds of people come here and smoke. Whether they bust us or the law changes, they have got to lock me up if they want to stop me!"


A YOUNG mechanic has told The Porkbolter of his complete disbelief after Sussex Police wrongly arrested him on suspicion of stealing his own car, banged him up in Worthing cells for 11 hours, refused to give him his motor back and later announced it had been crushed! The 20 year old dad of a young daughter now can’t even go to work because he has lost his car - plus many hundreds of pounds worth of expensive work tools, including Snap-Ons, that were crushed with the car. He is facing a potentially long and costly legal battle to get some compensation from the force, having eventually tracked down a solicitor prepared to take on the police in court. Repeated phone calls to the police to try and get some sense out of them have got him nowhere. He said: "No-one wants to take any responsibility. Every time I ring up they just make excuses."

He explained he had been giving a friend a lift home when he was pulled over by police in Shoreham - he assumes simply because there were three young blokes in the car. Police became suspicious because the ignition key had been lost and assumed this meant it was stolen - despite it being legally owned by the man, and also taxed and insured. After his 11 hours in the cells, he was released on bail. He contacted the previous owner of the car, who spoke to the police for some three quarters of an hour answering various questions and explaining that the car had been sold to the 20 year old a couple of weeks previously and the documentation was still with Swansea.

Said the man, who has no criminal record: "I thought they’d have to say sorry and give me my car back." Sadly, though, things are rarely so fair when it comes to Worthing police. He was told he would have to wait before he could have his car back. When the police realised he was not a thief and ended the bail arrangement, he made numerous phone calls to trace his car over a four week period, with no success. Then one day a sergeant rang with the news that it had been crushed, along with his tools, personal belongings and his young daughter’s clothes and toys. It seems he had failed to claim it from the police compound within the required time limit. And what did they police have to say now? Simply that he would have to contact a solicitor and send in a letter! Said the shocked young victim of injustice: "It’s just unreal!"


A WORTHING man has told us how he was pepper sprayed by Sussex Police while protesting peacefully in Brighton against a war on Iraq on October 31. He said: "We were just doing a sit-in in the road and I was holding onto someone in front of me when suddenly one of the police squirted something into my face, without any warning. There was this terrible burning and I was blinded for 45 minutes. First we’re told we have to go to war with Iraq because they’ve got chemical weapons - and then the police use chemical weapons on me for peacefully protesting about it!"

War clouds over the Downs

WITH all the panic-inducing talk from the Government about imminent terrorist attacks, many Worthing folk may feel glad they live somewhere so insignificant and thus unlikely to be a target for bomb attacks or whatever. But don’t be so sure! We have found out that a top-level international meeting about the future of NATO, involving leading military and political figures from the UK, US and Europe, is to be held in January just down the road at Wiston, near Steyning! The venue is Wilton Park, which describes itself as "one of the world’s leading centres for the discussion of international issues" and is run by the Foreign Office.

If you don’t believe us check out the website and you’ll see that the meeting from January 20 to 24 is called "Adjusting NATO to Meet The New European Security Agenda". The blurb about it says: "How should NATO respond to instabilities at its periphery, international terrorism and proliferation of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons? How can the transatlantic bedrock of the Alliance be strengthened? What will be the impact of new members? Can a co-operative relationship with Russia be forged? What role should NATO play in the Balkans, Mediterranean and further afield and what related capabilities will be needed?"

We have another few questions. How come this lot are meeting here in Sussex and nobody has heard anything about it? Will this make us all a target for those ubiquitous terrorists? Do we want them here or don’t we have a say in the matter?

Hunt for real justice

REMEMBER the incident on September 1 2000 when Sussex fox-protector Steve Christmas was run over and nearly killed by hunt supporter Martin Maynard? Ever wondered what happened to Maynard by way of punishment? With an original charge of GBH with intent swiftly dropped, he recently ended up getting a £75 fine for not having any insurance or licence for the vehicle used to run Steve down! There’s justice for you! Meanwhile, on Boxing Day, December 26, fox hunters will be meeting all over the place as usual for their twisted idea of ‘sport’. To find out about protests phone the Hunt Saboteurs’ Association on 0845 450 0727 or e-mail And for a massive amount of news on animal-related issues read the excellent Shoreham Protester. Subscribe for only £7.50 for 10 issues - send cheques made out to SPAAA to 7 Stoneham Road, Hove, Sussex BN3 5HJ. Or check out for email subscriptions.

Pupils press-ganged?

A BUNCH of soldiers from the Royal Engineers turned up at Durrington High School the other week, ostensibly to "meet winners of a science challenge" (Worthing Advertiser, October 30). Strangely enough, though "there was also an opportunity for pupils thinking of military careers to have an informal chat with soldiers". With war looming, youngsters will no doubt be dying for the chance of a short but eventful career in the army. No need to fret about your pension, either, lads! And plenty of opportunities to get totally slaughtered with your mates!

Can’t see woods for spin

CONFUSION reigns over the highly controversial plans to build all over Titnore Woods. On the plus side, the Countryside Agency has included an area it calls ‘Titnore Woods’ within its planned South Downs National Park, which could protect some of the ancient woodland and green fields. However, a spokesman for POW! warned: "We still have a battle on our hands to prevent developers trashing the rest of this unique area - even if eventually a National Park is approved." Meanwhile, developers Persimmon Homes are acting as if they have already got permission for their Titnore development. As far as anyone knows they haven’t even resubmitted their outline application, but they still gave the impression in the Worthing Herald’s property section (November 20) that they were all set to build 875 new homes, even claiming "the first homes are currently anticipated to be ready for occupation by mid/late 2004." We’ll see about that!

Word watch 2002

Modernisation. Massive downgrading, reduction to bare minimum. See also rationalisation, privatisation, fire station.

Regime change. Military coup engineered or imposed by dominant global superpower to replace ruthless dictator with pro-American ruthless dictator.

War. Terrorism with a much bigger budget.

Progress. Rapidly accelerating downward spiral to planetary extinction.


WE were intrigued to hear of the row involving Worthing Tory councillor Andrew Garrett and his unwillingness to return a laptop computer dished out to him in the heady days when his party ruled the borough and he was someone important (Argus, November 13). Andrew, we hope you have not been put off giving the computer back in case sensitive personal... err.. data falls into the wrong hands. Why not pop down to Boots and ask them to give your hard disc a bit of a clean?
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What a splendid tip for providing quality leisure services was provided in Worthing near the Guildbourne Centre last month. Simply stick together 30 plastic chopping boards and you have the perfect ice rink! Add in a photocall with Timmy Mallett and Worthing is transformed into a sparkling, magical Winter Wonderland. Marvellous!
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GEORGE Orwell has come back from the grave and set up a satirical website called "UK Resilience", which claims to be an official government emergency website for dealing with dastardly threats to the Big Brother state ranging from the firefighters to terrorists (aren’t they the same thing these days?). It even has a logo of a fluttering Union Jack to reinforce the Churchillian title. It can’t be for real. Can it? Please? Meanwhile, internet users can cross that wafer thin line to genuine satire with some superb US pseudo-propaganda posters at We knocked up a few of our own, too, for a laugh. Send s.a.e. for copies.
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MORE of the popular Worthing Green Socials have been arranged for the upstairs room at Barney’s Café Bar in Portland Road, Worthing. They are on Wednesday January 15 and Wednesday February 12, both 8pm for 8.15pm start. Contact Richard at
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WORTHING eco-action’s next meeting will be on Tuesday January 7, 7.45pm, at the upstairs room at The Downview pub opposite West Worthing railway station. A guest speaker is planned. Details later on events section of this site or by emailing
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QUICK quiz. In which militant UK town did striking firefighters hang an effigy of our beloved Prime Minister Tony Blair from its neck with the aid of a sturdy noose? Was it Liverpool? Brixton? Glasgow? Nope, you’ve got it - it was Worthing! So much for sleepy seaside retirement resort - hotbed of insurrection more like! The spirit of the Skeleton Army lives on!
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Did you know that M.E.Clifton-James, the man who starred as himself in the based-on-truth 1958 film "I Was Monty’s Double" lived in Worthing until he died in 1963? With this in mind, we have our suspicions about the Worthing Herald columnist of the same name. We have very recently spotted a subtle change in his now legendary sense of humour. Is it the same Monty or an imposter? And what have they done with the real one? We should be told!
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RESIDENTS in Worthing, Brighton and beyond who "bombarded" emergency services with reports of a mystery stink were told the likely cause was the oil spill off Spain (Argus, November 21). Or was it the all-pervasive stench of the decaying industrial capitalist system whose fetid corruption is contaminating and choking to death the very stuff of life itself in every crevice of the planet’s surface? Just wondering.

Firefighters: official correction

The following statement was issued yesterday by the Ministry of Truth and UK Resilience: "The Ministry has in recent weeks been keen to stress the vital role played by Britain’s brave and selfless firefighters. We have gone so far as to suggest, on the eve of the first stoppage, that without these outstanding men and women being on constant stand-by, the country was in danger of descending into chaos, with our cities blazing out of control, hundreds of people trapped in wrecked cars and thousands of lives lost if the firefighters insisted on taking industrial action. Our warnings having proved incorrect, we now wish to state categorically that the firefighters are a useless bunch of troublemaking idlers whose pathetic excuse for a job anyone could do with their hands tied behind their backs, in their tea breaks, without even trying, and we feel confident we could reduce their numbers by 85%, and abolish the night shift altogether without anybody even noticing. God save the Queen."

All the pig stories

The Pork-Bolter is a local independent newsletter named after an old nickname for Worthing people. It is not really produced by cartoon pigs but by three-dimensional human beings resident in the Worthing borough who, we should stress, have never knowingly tricked any police officers into falling into a huge cauldron of boiling water. (REFERENCE TO CARTOON SADLY NOT AVAILABLE ON WEB VERSION!)

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and finally ...
Reclaim Your Town, Reclaim Your Life!

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