But it has become painfully obvious over the last few weeks that the pair of them simply don't care less - and have instead turned their minds to what they clearly consider much more important and relevant issues for the population of this town (we'll come to that in a minute!). "Worthing police have received growing numbers of complaints year-on-year for the past three years," reported the Worthing Herald on October 9. "Since 2005, the number of complaints received about Worthing police officers, including instances of oppressive behaviour and failures in duty, has continually increased – with a massive 145 per cent increase between 2006 and 2008."
Cause for concern? Not for Peter Bottomley MP, who was "not prepared to comment on the growing figures". However, what he did have to say was: "if people want to criticise, complain or praise then they should. What I want to do is to reiterate that police officers in general, often at great risk to themselves, have to deal with the ugly, awful and frightening side of life without hesitation." So what has that got to do with the evidence of police acting in an oppressive manner and failing in their duty? What a cop-out!
There was a similar response to the scandal involving Chief Inspector Sharon Rowe, Worthing district commander (see below) arrested along with Detective Chief Inspector Jim Torbet, who has since hanged himself. Initially a joint statement came from Bottomley and Loughton, in which they announced "it is wrong for MPs to comment on the detail", before declaring: "During her time in charge in Worthing, she and her colleagues have worked to reduce crime, numbers in most categories have dropped, they have done much to catch suspects and have co-operated in bringing appropriate cases before the courts." Well, that's certainly a police officer's job description, but hardly the point here!
Bottomley took the same pathetic line on the CPS decision, even coming up with the absurd and obviously untrue observation: "Most people would accept this is an appropriate course of action. I believe if this person had been a publican or an insurance broker or somebody who is uenmployed they would have taken the same decision in the circumstances." So what's he saying here - that nobody has or ever will be prosecuted for stealing wine? Way-hey! Help yourselves folks, it's free-for-all time!
If our MPs are too busy to spare a thought for the collapsing integrity of our police force (or the planned destruction of Titnore Woods, another issue they refuse to address), what is it that is occupying their minds? "Two MPs have launched a parliamentary bid to return TV's top dodgy dancer John Sergeant to the nation's screens", reported the West Sussex Gazette (November 19). "Following Sergeant's resignation from BBC show Strictly Come Dancing, Tim Loughton and Peter Bottomley have tabled a joint Early Day Motion calling for the House to announce its devastation at his departure and demand his reinstatement to the dancefloor".
* Bottomley gets around £168,000 a year for being a crap MP (wages and expenses), while useless Loughton grabs £200,000 of our cash.
IT REALLY is a case of 'one law for them and another for us' in police state Britain. That's the only conclusion it's possible to draw from the scandalous decision not to prosecute Worthing's top police officer Sharon Rowe over allegations she stole wine from M&S. Even the Worthing Herald, hardly a regular critic of the establishment, called for the Sharongate decision to be 'challenged and reversed' pointing out sagely (Nov 27): "If Chief Insp Rowe is innocent, then surely it would be in everyone's interest to shout it from the rooftops... If the evidence is tested and she's guilty it's equally important that justice should be seen to be done." And it wasn't that there was no case to answer. As the Herald's website reported: "Crown solicitors have admitted they had enough evidence".
Sussex Police itself admitted that Rowe was let off the hook simply because the Crown Prosecution Service decided "it will not be in the public interest to prosecute a chief inspector for theft" (Worthing Herald, Nov 27). For public interest read state interest. You can bet your life they'd consider it in the 'public' interest to prosecute a single mum with hungry kids for shoplifting a tin of beans, or a pensioner without enough cash to pay the heating bills, or one of the increasing numbers of unemployed – or any of the rest of us for that matter! But a chief inspector is different, apparently, because she is one of them and to admit that police can be criminals would undermine the big lie of moral superiority that we have to be forced to swallow so we put up with this stinking, corrupt, power-mad state of theirs without ever daring to raise a voice in protest. But now the truth is out there.
Our experts say the next stage of this frightening and litte-known illness may be that they decide to adopt one name by which to be known to the outside world. Speculation is rife as to whether this will be Peter Loughton, Tim Bottomley or some creative amalgam of their names, such as Pim Loutbottom or Teeter Bottomlout. The next step after that may be surgery, with a reversal of the process used to separate conjoined twins resulting in the new joint entity being physically joined at the hip, waist or via whatever organ seems to be most handy. The mind boggles and we're feeling quite sick so we'll leave it at that for now...
Yes, that's right! Unbelievable though it may seem, we stumbled across a top secret article in the Worthing Herald on October 9 in which it was revealed that the Lions are planning to send the Khaki-Wearing Defenders of Global Freedom, Justice, Democracy and Gas Pipelines a selection of highly unhealthy substances with zero nutritional value such as Pot Noodles, Jelly Squirms and pork scratchings (see below for a more edible version).
Before we know it, Our Marvellous Boys will be good for nothing physical wrecks, allowing the Evil Foreign Hordes to swarm across Asia and Europe and sail over the Channel on inflatable camels, landing at Splash Point and forcing Worthing to become Muslim at gunpoint, with all our flower beds turned over to poppy growing and boys legally obliged to grow beards at the age of EIGHT!
It also appears that the Lions have enlisted the support of Asda in Brighton. Who'd have thought that WalMart (for it is they!) would do anything to undermine the Glorious March of Armed Global Capitalism? But then these are strange times we are living in.
No date has yet been given for a planning decision on the Titnore scheme, giving objectors more time to check the smallprint of the vast planning document and reveal a few porky pies, like the suggestion that West Durrington is an 'easy' walk away from Worthing town centre! If you haven't done so yet, send in your objections to WB/04/00040/OUT to Worthing Borough Council, Portland House, Richmond Road, Worthing or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
A Titnore fundraiser (for expert advice on the application) is being held at 8pm on Sunday January 11 at Patching Village Hall, featuring Greg Harper and his folk band. See Protect Our Woodland! Camp Titnore is still going strong, of course, and still in need of support from the Worthing public. Food parcels and building stuff should be taken to the site across the fields from Tesco in New Road, Durrington or to a special stall in Montague Place, Worthing, on Saturday December 20, from 11am. The rallying cry continues: Save Titnore Woods!
Published and printed by The Porkbolter, PO Box 4144, Worthing BN14 7NZ. No copyright, no justice in a corrupt imperial police state.